JoshuasTravels — ikons

ikons

Written by . Posted at 7:49 am on April 7th, 2007

a picture’s worth a thousand words, just ask a cameraman
– J.Buffett

Lithuani-Awesome-a
Once Upon A Time
I had 20 days of vacation to burn
Once Upon A Time
I had 20 days of vacation to burn
so I spent 10 days in Everlasting Lithuania where
they work harder than the Germans,
they drink more vodka than the Russians
and love freedom more than the Americans
•
...it was a hell of a trip
so I spent 10 days in Everlasting Lithuania where
they work harder than the Germans,
they drink more vodka than the Russians
and love freedom more than the Americans

…it was a hell of a trip
It was a one-hour shuttle ride into the city center, and an almost perfect introduction to EEURO (Eastern Europe). 
This guy drove like a maniac and then he'd skid-stop into highway gas stations where people randomly jumped off.
It was a one-hour shuttle ride into the city center, and an almost perfect introduction to EEURO (Eastern Europe).
This guy drove like a maniac and then he'd skid-stop into highway gas stations where people randomly jumped off.
Lithuania is the oldest language there is. They don't use articles and they like to end words with the "as" or "us" or "is."
So you can't fly to Amsterdam but you CAN fly to Amsterdamas.
I fucking love that.
Lithuania is the oldest language there is. They don't use articles and they like to end words with the "as" or "us" or "is."
So you can't fly to Amsterdam but you CAN fly to Amsterdamas.
I fucking love that.
quick story:
about 400 years before America, the Grand Duke of L-town went on a hunting trip in a sacred forest. He dreamed of a massive Iron Wolf, as strong and loud as a hundred wolves.
...so that's where the Lithuanians built their capitol.
I dare you to name a country with a better story.
Canberra? I'd rather watch wet-paint become dry-paint then listen to that again.
quick story:
about 400 years before America, the Grand Duke of L-town went on a hunting trip in a sacred forest. He dreamed of a massive Iron Wolf, as strong and loud as a hundred wolves.
…so that's where the Lithuanians built their capitol.
I dare you to name a country with a better story.
Canberra? I'd rather watch wet-paint become dry-paint then listen to that again.
For reasons that have not been adequatedly explained to me, there is a statue of Frank Zappa in Downtown Vilinus.
For reasons that have not been adequatedly explained to me, there is a statue of Frank Zappa in Downtown Vilinus.
The average Lithuanian speaks five languages. And they're clever smartasses in all of them.
The average Lithuanian speaks five languages. And they're clever smartasses in all of them.
This tower is in the middle of the city and the view is incredible.
This tower is in the middle of the city and the view is incredible.
just incredible
just incredible
No, I don't know them. Sorry if that's creepy.
No, I don't know them. Sorry if that's creepy.
JUMP CUT: we are now 50km outside of town
and (spoiler) Lithuania is a beautiful country
JUMP CUT: we are now 50km outside of town
and (spoiler) Lithuania is a beautiful country
to me "since the end of the Bronze Age up to the 14th century" implies that no progress was made in that time - but I figure that's because I'm just a silly, silly monoglot
to me "since the end of the Bronze Age up to the 14th century" implies that no progress was made in that time – but I figure that's because I'm just a silly, silly monoglot
at the time this picture was taken, I was

5820 miles from El Paso
(9366 kilometers for my Euro-friends)
at the time this picture was taken, I was

5820 miles from El Paso
(9366 kilometers for my Euro-friends)

♫ now I sleep a little better at night 
and when I look in the mirror
in the morning light 
the man I see was both wrong and right ♫
♫ now I sleep a little better at night
and when I look in the mirror
in the morning light
the man I see was both wrong and right ♫
I don't know what this sign means, but I like it anyway
I don't know what this sign means, but I like it anyway
damn was that one cool dog
damn was that one cool dog
it's like a Lost And Found in a border town 
and asking about a diamond ring 
they just look at you like you've lost your mind 
and say they haven't seen a thing ♫
it's like a Lost And Found in a border town
and asking about a diamond ring
they just look at you like you've lost your mind
and say they haven't seen a thing ♫
This is a statute of Vytautas.
Vytautas was basically the baddest, coolest, strongest mammer jammer to ever ride a horse from the Baltic to the Black Sea.

Up until Washington was born, of course.
OF COURSE
This is a statute of Vytautas.
Vytautas was basically the baddest, coolest, strongest mammer jammer to ever ride a horse from the Baltic to the Black Sea.

Up until Washington was born, of course.
OF COURSE

us, in front of a ANOTHER Iron Wolf statute
us, in front of a ANOTHER Iron Wolf statute
about to get some REAL DEAL local food
about to get some REAL DEAL local food
you know, some days I'm just the luckiest guy in the whole wide world
you know, some days I'm just the luckiest guy in the whole wide world
she sat there and claimed she was the Queen of Europe
as I understand, that's about all you need
I mean, she'd probably want to add something about how God told her that it was okay for her to oppress everyone else
but that's about it, really
Europeans will believe ANYTHING
she sat there and claimed she was the Queen of Europe
as I understand, that's about all you need
I mean, she'd probably want to add something about how God told her that it was okay for her to oppress everyone else
but that's about it, really
Europeans will believe ANYTHING
okay, check out the MASSIVE wilderness in the background there
Germany is great
but they have villages every ten kilometers
Lithuania has great nature
I'm talking about Yellowstone-levels of nature
amazing
okay, check out the MASSIVE wilderness in the background there
Germany is great
but they have villages every ten kilometers
Lithuania has great nature
I'm talking about Yellowstone-levels of nature
amazing
as I understand things, they met each other at about the age
that people usually associate with swingsets
as I understand things, they met each other at about the age
that people usually associate with swingsets
(they're smiling because I said something funny)
(they're smiling because I said something funny)
NO TECHNO! ONLY HIP-HOP!
NO TECHNO! ONLY HIP-HOP!
have you ever read the wiki on the Canadian canoe?
have you ever read the wiki on the Canadian canoe?
so I was trying to get a picture of
Capt. Salvija and First Mate Josh
so I was trying to get a picture of
Capt. Salvija and First Mate Josh
in retrospect, I shouldn't have asked her to keep her eyes open
in retrospect, I shouldn't have asked her to keep her eyes open
S'GO!
S'GO!
ahoy! Pirates off the port bow, Captain!
ahoy! Pirates off the port bow, Captain!
shiver me timbers! 'tis the Dreaded Pirate Muskrat!
shiver me timbers! 'tis the Dreaded Pirate Muskrat!
to • hell • with • the H2O
champagne SI • agua NO
to • hell • with • the H2O
champagne SI • agua NO
a toast to the french who gave us these bubbles!
a toast to the french who gave us these bubbles!
everything about this picture is perfect:
Zoolander is working it on the left
then you've got Cool Girl Ponytail with a casual, unlit dart
and OF COURSE the Portuguese guy is only one actually canoeing
everything about this picture is perfect:
Zoolander is working it on the left
then you've got Cool Girl Ponytail with a casual, unlit dart
and OF COURSE the Portuguese guy is only one actually canoeing
lucky, lucky me
lucky, lucky me
(she couldn't understand the importance of my pictures)
(she couldn't understand the importance of my pictures)
the pirates have stolen our cheese puffs!
the pirates have stolen our cheese puffs!
why is this picture so brightly lit?
there's something... fishy.... going on here
why is this picture so brightly lit?
there's something… fishy…. going on here
so we eventually ended our river journey
and we pulled our yahcts up near the city center
where these guys were BLASTING jams from the 1920s
and dancing Big Band Swing in ways 
that can only make you smile
so we eventually ended our river journey
and we pulled our yahcts up near the city center
where these guys were BLASTING jams from the 1920s
and dancing Big Band Swing in ways
that can only make you smile
apparently in L-town, the symbol for the Mac pretzel key
just means "landmark"
apparently in L-town, the symbol for the Mac pretzel key
just means "landmark"
in Trakai, which is awesome
in Trakai, which is awesome
effing castles, man
effing castles, man
blerg
blerg
French hot dog?
naw, man - that's dumber than an Brooklyn Croissant
French hot dog?
naw, man – that's dumber than an Brooklyn Croissant
I asked what that old building was.
She said she didn't know.
Probably a church, she said.
It's Europe.
She's probably right.
I asked what that old building was.
She said she didn't know.
Probably a church, she said.
It's Europe.
She's probably right.
okay, that castle looks a bit cooler now
okay, that castle looks a bit cooler now
if there's a better way to celebrate Independence Day 
than McFlurry Style, I don't know what it is
and if you think you do
you're wrong
if there's a better way to celebrate Independence Day
than McFlurry Style, I don't know what it is
and if you think you do
you're wrong
alright, my friends - that bear hanging off the roof is
Vinni Puhk
which is the Soviet adaption of Winnie Pooh
that turned out SO MUCH BETTER than the original
-
there's another great Soviet cartoon called Hedgehog In The Fog
that is streets ahead of anything I've seen in the US
slightly dark, with a very real acknowledgement of the world's harshness
all in a kid-friendly way
alright, my friends – that bear hanging off the roof is
Vinni Puhk
which is the Soviet adaption of Winnie Pooh
that turned out SO MUCH BETTER than the original

there's another great Soviet cartoon called Hedgehog In The Fog
that is streets ahead of anything I've seen in the US
slightly dark, with a very real acknowledgement of the world's harshness
all in a kid-friendly way
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqdiEUp6s4E
and bonus:   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRsXU4Q6a0Q
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sqdiEUp6s4E
and bonus: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dRsXU4Q6a0Q
polishing up Independence Day with a bit of Scotch and some Atlanta Juice
polishing up Independence Day with a bit of Scotch and some Atlanta Juice
he's wearing a shirt that says Qatar, but he's from Missouri
and we were probably the only two Americans for 300 kilometers
he's wearing a shirt that says Qatar, but he's from Missouri
and we were probably the only two Americans for 300 kilometers
we gonna rock on down to Electric Avenue
and then we'll take it higher ♫
we gonna rock on down to Electric Avenue
and then we'll take it higher ♫
Bruce Lee
Bruise-ly
clever in five languages, right?
Bruce Lee
Bruise-ly
clever in five languages, right?
70 Litas for a fancy bus to Riga?
YES
70 Litas for a fancy bus to Riga?
YES
on-board wi-fi? now THAT'S traveling
on-board wi-fi? now THAT'S traveling
welcome to Riga
welcome to Riga
you know how I know I grew up in the Suburbs?
because I'm still floored when I pass a simple city park like this
you know how I know I grew up in the Suburbs?
because I'm still floored when I pass a simple city park like this
It was Latvia Day or something when I showed up
everyone was in costumes and there were a million mini-festivals
It was Latvia Day or something when I showed up
everyone was in costumes and there were a million mini-festivals
the food was good, though
the food was good, though
SO GOOD
SO GOOD
and nice, wide streets
just like Salt Lake
and nice, wide streets
just like Salt Lake
now THAT is cool
now THAT is cool
...but THIS is cooler
…but THIS is cooler
jump cut: I'm in Nida, now
which is the quiet, relaxed beach resort of L-town
jump cut: I'm in Nida, now
which is the quiet, relaxed beach resort of L-town
look, I don't support littering
but if you're going to litter
litter like a Cool Guy LIthuanian
look, I don't support littering
but if you're going to litter
litter like a Cool Guy LIthuanian
Once Upon A Time, a young mermaid (or water nymph, depending on who you are drinking with) fell in love with a handsome young fisherman. 
She lived in an amber castle under the Baltic Sea. But when her thunder-god father found out she was kissing a regular mortal Lithuanian, he got pissed as hell and exploded her castle into a million pieces.
Which is why so much amber washes up onto the beaches in Lithuania.
There's another great Lithuanian legend about someone called - no joke - "Eglė, Queen of Serpents."
But we don't have time for that right now.
Once Upon A Time, a young mermaid (or water nymph, depending on who you are drinking with) fell in love with a handsome young fisherman.
She lived in an amber castle under the Baltic Sea. But when her thunder-god father found out she was kissing a regular mortal Lithuanian, he got pissed as hell and exploded her castle into a million pieces.
Which is why so much amber washes up onto the beaches in Lithuania.
There's another great Lithuanian legend about someone called – no joke – "Eglė, Queen of Serpents."
But we don't have time for that right now.
Hey!
it's the local version of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame!
Hey!
it's the local version of the Hollywood Walk Of Fame!
this guy was kind of the Johnny Cash of L-town
you know, if Johnny Cash had lived under constant threat
of the Soviets puzzling out his subtle anti-Soviet allusions
and sending him to the gulag
this guy was kind of the Johnny Cash of L-town
you know, if Johnny Cash had lived under constant threat
of the Soviets puzzling out his subtle anti-Soviet allusions
and sending him to the gulag
seriously, how could you not love this guy?
seriously, how could you not love this guy?
what is it with Water Gods always being connected to horses?
seriously, does anybody know?
what is it with Water Gods always being connected to horses?
seriously, does anybody know?
apparently there's an ancient insult in Lithuanian
that roughly translates to:
"aw, go sit on a hedgehog!"
apparently there's an ancient insult in Lithuanian
that roughly translates to:
"aw, go sit on a hedgehog!"
according to the calculations of Joshes,
this is cooler than Arthur Fonzarelli
according to the calculations of Joshes,
this is cooler than Arthur Fonzarelli
this is the biggest sand dune in Europe or something
this is the biggest sand dune in Europe or something
this is an exhausted American on the biggest sand dune in Europe or something
this is an exhausted American on the biggest sand dune in Europe or something
about two kilometers behind her is the
WALL
the separates Kaliningrad from the rest of the world
it's 2013
how crazy is that?
about two kilometers behind her is the
WALL
the separates Kaliningrad from the rest of the world
it's 2013
how crazy is that?
this is an exhausted American in front of an old lighthouse or something
this is an exhausted American in front of an old lighthouse or something
JUMP CUT:
we're in Klaipedia now
JUMP CUT:
we're in Klaipedia now
Q: Do I want some Ferrero?
A: FUCK and YES!
Q: Do I want some Ferrero?
A: FUCK and YES!
to me, this picture says:
Eastern Europe has a rough history
but it's got SO MUCH potential
and things are generally looking up
to me, this picture says:
Eastern Europe has a rough history
but it's got SO MUCH potential
and things are generally looking up
@ Klaipedia's jazz club:
turns out that leader singer there
was one of the first guys to say
(back in the late 1980s)
"fuck this Iron Curtain shit - we're gonna make some Rock & Roll"
...it's a small country so that sorta makes sense
but still -
crazy
@ Klaipedia's jazz club:
turns out that leader singer there
was one of the first guys to say
(back in the late 1980s)
"fuck this Iron Curtain shit – we're gonna make some Rock & Roll"
…it's a small country so that sorta makes sense
but still –
crazy
smartasses
smartasses
someone once said:
"there is no greater love than a mother cat for her kittens"
someone once said:
"there is no greater love than a mother cat for her kittens"
in CERTAIN OTHER countries I have visited
all the money has a picture of some old lady
wearing a hat that is worth more than most GDPs
but in L-town?
it's a badass about to swing his sword into somebody's face
in CERTAIN OTHER countries I have visited
all the money has a picture of some old lady
wearing a hat that is worth more than most GDPs
but in L-town?
it's a badass about to swing his sword into somebody's face
I met a man with a money-machine
he said he would give me the machine
if I gave you up
I just looked him in the eye
and I said "no thanks"
honey, you look better than money in the bank ♫
I met a man with a money-machine
he said he would give me the machine
if I gave you up
I just looked him in the eye
and I said "no thanks"
honey, you look better than money in the bank ♫
there's a picture on the mantle top
filled with old regrets
there are times I can't remember
and things I won't forget ♫
there's a picture on the mantle top
filled with old regrets
there are times I can't remember
and things I won't forget ♫
Jimmy's drinking whiskey and lying in the shade 
Jamie's dancing round the kitchen with a glass of lemonade 
looking like an angel who's never gonna touch the ground  ♫
Jimmy's drinking whiskey and lying in the shade
Jamie's dancing round the kitchen with a glass of lemonade
looking like an angel who's never gonna touch the ground ♫
but I'd do the whole thing over, darling
- just to hear that song ♫
but I'd do the whole thing over, darling
– just to hear that song ♫
two Europeans
waiting in rain
waiting on the same bus
to take one to work
and one to the airport
two Europeans
waiting in rain
waiting on the same bus
to take one to work
and one to the airport


let's lose charley