JoshuasTravels — ikons

ikons

Written by . Posted at 7:49 am on April 7th, 2007

a picture’s worth a thousand words, just ask a cameraman
– J.Buffett

Scota Lotta Land
Once Upon A Time
I had 20 days of vacation to burn
Once Upon A Time
I had 20 days of vacation to burn
so I spent 10 days in Bonnie Scotland, where the men wear skirts and the women drink malt whiskey
so I spent 10 days in Bonnie Scotland, where the men wear skirts and the women drink malt whiskey
welcome to Edinburgh
big castle, middle of the city
welcome to Edinburgh
big castle, middle of the city
...as of 2012, six different places now claim to be "The City of Literature"
yeah I looked it up
it's my holiday, I do what I want
…as of 2012, six different places now claim to be "The City of Literature"
yeah I looked it up
it's my holiday, I do what I want
the old and the new
the old and the new
I spent a lot of summers in East Washington.
We made the 3 hour drive from Portland a LOT.
My mother's musical tastes: Michelle Shocked, the Proclaimers, Peter-Paul-Mary.
What I'm trying to say is: I know all the words to Sunshine on Leith.
And then some.
I spent a lot of summers in East Washington.
We made the 3 hour drive from Portland a LOT.
My mother's musical tastes: Michelle Shocked, the Proclaimers, Peter-Paul-Mary.
What I'm trying to say is: I know all the words to Sunshine on Leith.
And then some.
I flew in a day before my folks did
and I -get this- WALKED to Leith
I flew in a day before my folks did
and I -get this- WALKED to Leith
somewhere deep inside my psyche, 8yr-old-Josh just went berserk
somewhere deep inside my psyche, 8yr-old-Josh just went berserk
I used to subtly resent the Scots and the rest of the Commonwealth
you know, for not throwing off the heavy chains of English Oppression
this is a great picture
partly because around about here
I realized America wasn't the norm
America's Independence was the exception
and nobody else was able to duplicate it
precisely because it was so damn difficult
I beg forgiveness for my ignorance
I used to subtly resent the Scots and the rest of the Commonwealth
you know, for not throwing off the heavy chains of English Oppression
this is a great picture
partly because around about here
I realized America wasn't the norm
America's Independence was the exception
and nobody else was able to duplicate it
precisely because it was so damn difficult
I beg forgiveness for my ignorance
see? it's a good Walk For Thinking
see? it's a good Walk For Thinking
this confused the shit out of me:
the signs read
Leith 1¾
for what must have been about 2 kilometers
this confused the shit out of me:
the signs read
Leith 1¾
for what must have been about 2 kilometers
...not that I spent too much time reading signs...
…not that I spent too much time reading signs…
Scotland, you're alright with me
Scotland, you're alright with me
see?
see?
(if I thought you trusted me, I wouldn't have to prove it)
(if I thought you trusted me, I wouldn't have to prove it)
I know what you're thinking:
"damn Josh, I could look at pictures of this path ALL DAY"
which is great, because I spent half a day walking that path
and I took pictures the whole way
lucky us, eh?
I know what you're thinking:
"damn Josh, I could look at pictures of this path ALL DAY"
which is great, because I spent half a day walking that path
and I took pictures the whole way
lucky us, eh?
I asked him if he would "run 500 miles"
I couldn't really hear his response, but it was sounded like
something about "plucking" or "ducklings" or "trucking" or someting
I asked him if he would "run 500 miles"
I couldn't really hear his response, but it was sounded like
something about "plucking" or "ducklings" or "trucking" or someting
'ello Leith! cuppa tea?
'ello Leith! cuppa tea?
just kidding... I know you're the gritty seaside port of a major industrial city
just kidding… I know you're the gritty seaside port of a major industrial city
back in Edinburgh Proper
and it's curious: about every two months Europe finds a new way to offend me
back in Edinburgh Proper
and it's curious: about every two months Europe finds a new way to offend me
this is two streets down - apparently everyone except the Tartan-wearers knows that "Peking" become "Beijing" around thirty years ago
but what do I know? I'm just an American
and the Britons WROTE THE BOOK on being pompous posh assholes
this is two streets down – apparently everyone except the Tartan-wearers knows that "Peking" become "Beijing" around thirty years ago
but what do I know? I'm just an American
and the Britons WROTE THE BOOK on being pompous posh assholes
we have wandered many a weary foot 
and seas between us broad have roared 
-
and here is a hand my trusty friend 
and give us a hand of yours
and we will take a goodwill drink of ale
for times gone by
-
and we will take a cup of kindness yet 
for times gone by
we have wandered many a weary foot
and seas between us broad have roared

and here is a hand my trusty friend
and give us a hand of yours
and we will take a goodwill drink of ale
for times gone by

and we will take a cup of kindness yet
for times gone by
there's a bar in Augusta that's also called The Filling Station
the one in Augusta has a lot more rainbow flags than this one
there's a bar in Augusta that's also called The Filling Station
the one in Augusta has a lot more rainbow flags than this one
whoa, dude
whoa, dude
at the top of the Scot Monument
it's a monument to a guy named Scot
not the concept of Scots-in-general
yeah, it's confusing
at the top of the Scot Monument
it's a monument to a guy named Scot
not the concept of Scots-in-general
yeah, it's confusing
just because I don't know what this means doesn't mean I don't like it
just because I don't know what this means doesn't mean I don't like it
the last twenty meters of the tower spiral stairs SUDDENLY gets tight
it's unnerving and all messed up
the last twenty meters of the tower spiral stairs SUDDENLY gets tight
it's unnerving and all messed up
I'm not going to say anything down here - let's just look at this picture together, okay?
I'm not going to say anything down here – let's just look at this picture together, okay?
sayeth my mother: "man, Scotland's full of old shit!"
sayeth my mother: "man, Scotland's full of old shit!"
I don't know why they're smiling
here I am, all trapped up in the SUDDENLY-TINY-STAIRWELL
I don't know why they're smiling
here I am, all trapped up in the SUDDENLY-TINY-STAIRWELL
har har har - get the crisco, willya?
har har har – get the crisco, willya?
I don't know how they built shit like this back in the Horsey Time Days
I don't know how they built shit like this back in the Horsey Time Days
you think Scottish people are proud of McDonalds?
at least a little bit, right?
you think Scottish people are proud of McDonalds?
at least a little bit, right?
I'll let the body language speak for itself
I'll let the body language speak for itself
we were going for "majestically inquisitive"
we were going for "majestically inquisitive"
Abe's Edinburgh memorial
Abe's Edinburgh memorial
Hume's memorial
Hume's memorial
"David Hume called the idea of an afterlife a most unreasonable fancy"
"David Hume called the idea of an afterlife a most unreasonable fancy"
....not a bad place to spend eternity
….not a bad place to spend eternity
S'GO!
S'GO!
purple and green go well together, eh?
purple and green go well together, eh?
this was back when I still got excited about castles...
this was back when I still got excited about castles…
go ahead, guess what this is called!
go ahead, guess what this is called!
nope! you are incorrect!
it's the High Kirk Of Edinburgh
(Kirk is the Scot word for a place they go to oppress women)
nope! you are incorrect!
it's the High Kirk Of Edinburgh
(Kirk is the Scot word for a place they go to oppress women)
...on the breakfast menu
…on the breakfast menu
right after I make my first million, I'm buying this
right after I make my first million, I'm buying this
my parents rented this three-cylinder BEAST
my parents rented this three-cylinder BEAST
...is there a better place to start a road-trip at?
…is there a better place to start a road-trip at?
blue and orange is also good
blue and orange is also good
the "K" is for "Kirk"
the "K" is for "Kirk"
spin it around again, player!
spin it around again, player!
I don't know, I don't have any idea
I don't know, I don't have any idea
this is Glen Coe
people that have never been to Troutdale call it the Prettiest Place On Earth
this is Glen Coe
people that have never been to Troutdale call it the Prettiest Place On Earth
...it is pretty, sure... just not OREGON pretty
…it is pretty, sure… just not OREGON pretty
I swear, the Scots are worse than Texans
with all their flag nonsense
we get it, we get it
I swear, the Scots are worse than Texans
with all their flag nonsense
we get it, we get it
life ain't all beer and skittles
and more's the pity
life ain't all beer and skittles
and more's the pity
looking ready to hike a million miles... or maybe just 500
zing!
looking ready to hike a million miles… or maybe just 500
zing!
S'GO!
S'GO!
remember when Europe started those two big wars?
this is a memorial to that
it's a good walk
about 3 miles outside of the tiny town
remember when Europe started those two big wars?
this is a memorial to that
it's a good walk
about 3 miles outside of the tiny town
I encourage all who read these words
to contact the Argyll & Bute Council
I encourage all who read these words
to contact the Argyll & Bute Council
and please let me know if you "discover a fire"
and please let me know if you "discover a fire"
hey, Spike Lee! turn around!
hey, Spike Lee! turn around!
yeah yeah yeah
yeah yeah yeah
my mom told me that was Nessie
I told her this was Loch Laggan, not Loch Ness
she said it didn't matter
they're all connected by underwater tunnels, she said
my mom told me that was Nessie
I told her this was Loch Laggan, not Loch Ness
she said it didn't matter
they're all connected by underwater tunnels, she said
for the love all that's good, man!
leave them home!
for the love all that's good, man!
leave them home!
'nuff said
'nuff said
there's a joke in here about human reproduction but I just can't find it
there's a joke in here about human reproduction but I just can't find it
the Scots call this a ski resort
I was born in Utah
this ain't no ski resort, bub
the Scots call this a ski resort
I was born in Utah
this ain't no ski resort, bub
oh, Glenfinnan, huh? cool, I guess...
oh, Glenfinnan, huh? cool, I guess…
this bridge took Harry Potter to go rescue the MacGuffin Stone or something, I don't know
this bridge took Harry Potter to go rescue the MacGuffin Stone or something, I don't know
the thing about Lochs is that they immediately become very, very deep
yeah, I could see monsters living there
and I ain't talking about Berlusconi! zing!
the thing about Lochs is that they immediately become very, very deep
yeah, I could see monsters living there
and I ain't talking about Berlusconi! zing!
Tom-sized?
Tom-sized?
climb what?
climb what?
well that just seems inefficient
well that just seems inefficient
can't you just see Godzilla come stomping out of that?
can't you just see Godzilla come stomping out of that?
not with me keeping everyone safe, of course
after I left is what I meant
not with me keeping everyone safe, of course
after I left is what I meant
oh HELL yes
oh HELL yes
"permits only Protestants"
...Europe's such a civilized place
so progressive
"permits only Protestants"
…Europe's such a civilized place
so progressive
and boy do I love it when Europeans call my country a "warmongering nation"
and boy do I love it when Europeans call my country a "warmongering nation"
@ Neptune's Staircase!
@ Neptune's Staircase!
isn't Engineering fun?
isn't Engineering fun?
stepping down
stepping down
oh fancy, the self-catering is 5-star!
oh fancy, the self-catering is 5-star!
@ some boring castle
@ some boring castle
...sorry, that's "Inverlochy" castle
…sorry, that's "Inverlochy" castle
I bet they are
I bet they are
I count five flags in this picture... did I miss one? how many did you get?
I count five flags in this picture… did I miss one? how many did you get?
welp, we pretty much HAVE to buy them now
welp, we pretty much HAVE to buy them now
YES and MORE YES
YES and MORE YES
kinda makes you glad Hollywood is the dominant culture on the planet, doesn't it?
kinda makes you glad Hollywood is the dominant culture on the planet, doesn't it?
you see those parallel lines?
Darwin says that proves about Ice Ages and glaciers and stuff
..somebody better tell Fox News
you see those parallel lines?
Darwin says that proves about Ice Ages and glaciers and stuff
..somebody better tell Fox News
more facts? oh come on!
more facts? oh come on!
actually, screw Glen Coe
this is the Prettiest Place on the Planet
actually, screw Glen Coe
this is the Prettiest Place on the Planet
your argument is invalid
and I stand by my statement
your argument is invalid
and I stand by my statement
holy shit
holy shit
"will those things ram us?"
"will those things ram us?"
no, Mom, they make pillows out of those things
we're fine, I promise
no, Mom, they make pillows out of those things
we're fine, I promise
sayeth my mother: "goddamn it, Tom! act natural!"
sayeth my mother: "goddamn it, Tom! act natural!"
good one of Mom
good one of Mom
..good one of Dad
..good one of Dad
good one of... actually, never mind
good one of… actually, never mind
Devil's in the details
Devil's in the details
...fearless
…fearless
not fearless
not fearless
crazy Scots, right?
crazy Scots, right?
hey Clark Kent! you forgot your glasses!
hey Clark Kent! you forgot your glasses!
dam that's cool
dam that's cool
Connor McLeod was The Highlander, right?
and he drank Glenmorangie, right?
Connor McLeod was The Highlander, right?
and he drank Glenmorangie, right?
"Her Majesty The Queen"
...never thought I'd miss just living in a democracy
I know, I know, I think too much
and I'm a failed idealist
"Her Majesty The Queen"
…never thought I'd miss just living in a democracy
I know, I know, I think too much
and I'm a failed idealist
♫  it's the simple things in life like when and where
we didn't have no Internet but man I never will forget ♫
♫ it's the simple things in life like when and where
we didn't have no Internet but man I never will forget ♫
♫ now nothing seems as strange
as when the leaves began to change ♫
♫ now nothing seems as strange
as when the leaves began to change ♫
my, they certainly are well-dressed, aren't they?
my, they certainly are well-dressed, aren't they?
moderately interesting
moderately interesting
"flapjack"
you keep using that word
I don't think that word means what you think it means
"flapjack"
you keep using that word
I don't think that word means what you think it means
no need to be subtle about it, Scotland
I'm picking up what you're putting down
and I like it
no need to be subtle about it, Scotland
I'm picking up what you're putting down
and I like it
you see these all over the place
"the MacDonalds executed twelve people over here"
"the MacDonalds fought someone over there - thirty dead"
I am under the general understanding that the MacDonalds killed more people than typhus
you see these all over the place
"the MacDonalds executed twelve people over here"
"the MacDonalds fought someone over there – thirty dead"
I am under the general understanding that the MacDonalds killed more people than typhus
should we go?
should we go?
cow says: "yes"
cow says: "yes"
oh, cool
oh, cool
she -like me- was largely unimpressed with all the fermented curds
she -like me- was largely unimpressed with all the fermented curds
A lot of fictional people have a widow's peak.  The trait is often associated with a prominent villain or antagonist. Look, Doc Savage has one, okay?
A lot of fictional people have a widow's peak. The trait is often associated with a prominent villain or antagonist. Look, Doc Savage has one, okay?
my father has a sister
that sister has a son
that son's name is Shane
my father has a sister
that sister has a son
that son's name is Shane
another castle? NOBODY CARES, Scotland
another castle? NOBODY CARES, Scotland
admittedly, the lightning couldn't have been more pefect
admittedly, the lightning couldn't have been more pefect
my Grandma Norma is going to love this picture
if you are not her, I hope you at least like it
my Grandma Norma is going to love this picture
if you are not her, I hope you at least like it
sitting, waiting, wishing
sitting, waiting, wishing
I was later corrected:
it's Duh-fuss
not Doof-us
I was later corrected:
it's Duh-fuss
not Doof-us
oh snap! I have been caught unawares!
oh snap! I have been caught unawares!
sayeth my mother: "really, Tom? really?"
sayeth my mother: "really, Tom? really?"
huh? oh, nothing, just watching the clouds roll by...
say, do you think comic-book movies are the new sci-fi?
huh? oh, nothing, just watching the clouds roll by…
say, do you think comic-book movies are the new sci-fi?
(caught awares)
(caught awares)
I know, we're all sick of castle pictures
look, you don't have to tell me
tell my mother, that's who
I know, we're all sick of castle pictures
look, you don't have to tell me
tell my mother, that's who
S'GO
S'GO
"is it in my hand?"
"what?"
"does it look like it's small? is it in my hand?"
"what? huh? no, not really, no..."
"is it in my hand?"
"what?"
"does it look like it's small? is it in my hand?"
"what? huh? no, not really, no…"
my dad, doing what he does
my dad, doing what he does
crazy
crazy
Scotland has shit for oranges
the strawberries, on the other hand
they do strawberries REALLY well
Scotland has shit for oranges
the strawberries, on the other hand
they do strawberries REALLY well
if you're drinking a Scotch, there's like a 60% chance it was distilled in-or-around Dufftown
if you're drinking a Scotch, there's like a 60% chance it was distilled in-or-around Dufftown
and Scotland has no trespass laws, so you can walk right between the warehouses
and Scotland has no trespass laws, so you can walk right between the warehouses
but it's best if you go with a local tour guide
...because then you get to wear these stylish vests
but it's best if you go with a local tour guide
…because then you get to wear these stylish vests
gates are open because it's Scotland
if this was Bourbon County, Kentucky there would be
walls and locks and guards with frowny faces
gates are open because it's Scotland
if this was Bourbon County, Kentucky there would be
walls and locks and guards with frowny faces
we'd walk to a distillery, then the tour guide would pull a bottle out and we'd take a swig
usually the bottle matched the name on the building, but not always
we'd walk to a distillery, then the tour guide would pull a bottle out and we'd take a swig
usually the bottle matched the name on the building, but not always
crossing a rare no-trolls bridge with the local tour guide
crossing a rare no-trolls bridge with the local tour guide
the black comes from a fungus that eats up all the ambient evaporating alcohol
it also just looks plain badass
the black comes from a fungus that eats up all the ambient evaporating alcohol
it also just looks plain badass
bottle matches the building!
bottle matches the building!
insane
insane
them's some Star Wars looking things, eh?
them's some Star Wars looking things, eh?
getting a little Hollywood there, eh?
getting a little Hollywood there, eh?
it means "Valley of the Deer" but I didn't see a single goddamn one
it means "Valley of the Deer" but I didn't see a single goddamn one
well, I guess I did see one - but that seems a stretch, right?
well, I guess I did see one – but that seems a stretch, right?
there they go again...
(it's an older spelling of the clan name)
there they go again…
(it's an older spelling of the clan name)
I'm not immortal
I can't handle a sword
but this is us, drinking the same stuff The Highlander does
I'm not immortal
I can't handle a sword
but this is us, drinking the same stuff The Highlander does
how many Pictish cross slabs do you think there are in Aberdeenshire?
Aberdeenshire is only 6,000 km²
how many Pictish cross slabs do you think there are in Aberdeenshire?
Aberdeenshire is only 6,000 km²
the drawing is a lot prettier than the actual stone
and it was cold
and she was already on her way back to the car by the time I start snapping pictures
the drawing is a lot prettier than the actual stone
and it was cold
and she was already on her way back to the car by the time I start snapping pictures
yuppers
yuppers
some beach town we stopped at for tea
some beach town we stopped at for tea
schoolgirls gossiping on the rocks, because humans are the same wherever you go
schoolgirls gossiping on the rocks, because humans are the same wherever you go
how cool is that mint swiss roll? pretty cool, right?
how cool is that mint swiss roll? pretty cool, right?
Food Hero of the Year? holy shit!
Food Hero of the Year? holy shit!
"twenty's plenty"
"twenty's plenty"
"1 Kirkstyle"
I should ●com that
"1 Kirkstyle"
I should ●com that
this is a "dual carriage-way"
because of course it is
this is a "dual carriage-way"
because of course it is
there are three great plays in this world:
Brigadoon, Fiddler on the Roof, and Inherit the Wind
there are three great plays in this world:
Brigadoon, Fiddler on the Roof, and Inherit the Wind
...the cool B&B we stayed at
…the cool B&B we stayed at
Disco! Georgia Crawl!
Disco! Georgia Crawl!
dried blood? are you crazy?
dried blood? are you crazy?
Freedom Food?
America: often imitated
never duplicated
Freedom Food?
America: often imitated
never duplicated
don't let the accent fool you - the boat captain guy was pretty damn cool
don't let the accent fool you – the boat captain guy was pretty damn cool
okay, I need to tell you this is the island where the imprisoned Mary, Queen of Scots
and that's not Nessie, it's a buoy
(this is Loch Leven, if you're wondering)
okay, I need to tell you this is the island where the imprisoned Mary, Queen of Scots
and that's not Nessie, it's a buoy
(this is Loch Leven, if you're wondering)
I don't know why she's so happy to be in another castle
I don't know why she's so happy to be in another castle
or him
or him
my sister is going to hate this picture
my sister is going to hate this picture
solid snap
solid snap
I really like this picture and I don't know why
I really like this picture and I don't know why
I think there's a Nessie down there!
or worse: an Englishman!
I think there's a Nessie down there!
or worse: an Englishman!
this might be the best picture I've ever taken
this might be the best picture I've ever taken
although this is close competition
although this is close competition
after moderate imbibing on the last night
after this, they fly to South Ireland
and I fly to Lithuania
after moderate imbibing on the last night
after this, they fly to South Ireland
and I fly to Lithuania
Riviera? Are you sure?
Riviera? Are you sure?
really Riviera-esqe, Scotland
which is how you know it's time to catch that plane to far, far away
really Riviera-esqe, Scotland
which is how you know it's time to catch that plane to far, far away


let's lose charley